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BIG DEAN IS BACK


 TODAYS JOKE The Disappearing Diner
 


A man and a beautiful woman were having dinner in a fine restaurant. Their waitress suddenly noticed that the man was slowing sliding down his chair and under the table, but the woman acted unconcerned.

The waitress watched as the man slid all the way down his chair and out of sight under the table. Still, the woman dining across from him appeared calm and unruffled, apparently unaware that her dining companion had disappeared.

After the waitress finished taking an order, she came over to the table and said to the woman, "Pardon me, ma'am, but I think your husband just slid under the table."

The woman calmly looked up at her and replied, "No he didn't. My husband just walked in the door."

Now we all know why he is hiding under the table YOUR FRIEND
BIG DEAN
Posted by BIG DEAN at 10:09 AM - 8 Comments   Add a Comment  
 

 JOKE OF THE DAY "HELP WANTED: BELL RINGER"
 

Lookiing for a job, don't feel too bad, you could be this fellow out looking for work:

A cathedral had posted a "Help Wanted: Bell Ringer" sign in front of the church.

A man came to the door of the church and, having no arms,
banged his head against the door to knock.
The priest answered, and asked, "How can I help you, my son?"

"I've come for the bell-ringer position," the man replied eagerly.

The priest looked at the man, wondering what to say, but before he could say anything, the enthusiastic man rushed past him and ran up the steps to the belfry.

The priest ran after him and as he reached the top of the stairs, to his horror, he saw the armless man jump face-first into the bell.

"DONG!!!!" went the bell. The priest was overwhelmed by this display. "My son, please..." he started, but to no avail, as the man was already jumping again.

"DONG!!!" "Please stop this, my son!" yelled the priest, but the man just backed up for another charge. As he started to run towards the bell again, the priest managed to get in front of him, but just at the last moment, the armless man dodged to the side, tripped, and fell from the belfry.

Horrified, the priest ran downstairs and outside, where a crowd of people had gathered around the body of the armless man.

"Who is this?" asked a member of the crowd, turning to the priest.

"I don't know," the priest responded, "but his face sure rings a bell."

A few weeks later, as the priest was sitting in his office contemplating the service for the upcoming mass, he heard a knock at the door.

Upon opening it he saw another armless man, identical to the unfortunate soul who had visited him before. At first the priest just stared in shock, thinking it was the same person, but realizing it couldn't possibly be.
Finally he managed to blurt out, "Can. . .can I help you?"

"Yes," answered the man, "I have come to pay respects to my dead twin brother. He was here a few weeks ago and died in a tragic accident."

"Oh! Oh, your twin!" exclaimed the priest. "Oh my, yes! I am so very sorry for your loss, my son. Would you like to come in and light a
candle for him?"

"No, I just want to ring the bell for him."

"No! Wait!" the priest cried, feeling like he was trapped in a recurring nightmare. But the armless man went dashing up the stairs before the priest could do anything. Just as his brother had done earlier, the man jumped face-first into the bell.

"DONG!!!!!" "No! Please, my son! Stop!" the priest cried in desperation.

"DONG!!!!!" The hysterical priest ran about frantically, trying to tackle the fanatic bell-ringer.

Suddenly, the second armless man tripped, and he too fell to his death on the pavement below.

The poor priest was utterly shocked and horrified. He frantically dashed down to the church yard, and again found a crowd of people looking over the body. "Who is this?" inquired one of the people.

"I don't know," replied the priest, "but he's a dead ringer for his brother."
Posted by BIG DEAN at 7:14 AM - 6 Comments   Add a Comment  
 
 JUNE 6 1944 D-DAY A TIME TO REMEMBER
 

Today was a very Important day back in 1944.
A lot of men waited for that day. I guess they knew that they would give up their lives that day to try and end a WORLD WAR!
There was fierce fighting and dieing on the Beaches at Normandy That day. I was not born yet, But I am sure My mother followed the News like every American and Prayed! Yes It was a very Important Battle that took place and was won on the Beaches of Normandy that day.
We went on to a lot more towns with Generals like Patton, Eisenhower,
MacArthur; and let's not for get the many brave men and women of the Navy, Air Force, m.marine The ones who flew the supplies with no guns to the battle fields. all those brave souls that we give thanks and Remember today!.
The US flag at Normandy Beach Pictures, Images and Photos THE AMERICANFLAG AT NORMANDY BEACH

There were other battles and wars to follow and many more brave men to give their lives for their country's call.
To all those brave men and women and the ones who are fighting another war in a another foreign land today willing to give their lives because their country asked them to;
We all must say THANK YOU AND GOD BLESS YOU TILL YOU ARE ONCE AGAIN SAFELY HOME AGAIN WITH US.
YOUR FRIEND
BIG DEAN
Posted by BIG DEAN at 6:38 AM - No Comments   Add a Comment  
 

 TODAYS JOKE "THE CONFESSION
 

There once was a young woman who went to confession. Upon entering the confessional she said, "Forgive me Father, for I have sinned."
The priest said, "Confess your sins and be forgiven."
The young woman said, "Last night my boyfriend made mad passionate love to me seven times."
The priest thought long and hard and then said, "Take seven lemons and squeeze them into a glass and then drink the juice.
The young woman asked, "Will this cleanse me of my sins?"
"No, but it will wipe that smile off of your face."
Posted by BIG DEAN at 6:01 AM - No Comments   Add a Comment  
 

 TODAYS LAUGH...HER FIRST FOOTBALL GAME
 


A guy took his blonde girlfriend to her first football game.
They had great seats right behind their team's bench.
After the game, he asked her how she liked the experience.

'Oh, I really liked it,' she replied, 'especially the tight pants and all the big muscles, but I just couldn't understand why they were killing each other over 25 cents.'

Dumbfounded, her date asked, 'What do you mean?'

'Well, they flipped a coin, one team got it and then for the rest of the game, all they kept screaming was:

'Get the quarterback! Get the quarterback!'

I'm like...Helloooooo? It's only 25 cents."

Have a good day
YOUR FRIEND
BIG DEAN
Posted by BIG DEAN at 9:14 AM - 2 Comments   Add a Comment  
 
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  About Me
Author: BIG DEAN
From Kentucky, USA
Age: 64
 
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