Since the time of Adam and eve
Love was on the mind.
God gave Man the gift of Life
Love was on the mind
He then made eve his faithful wife
Love ws on their mind

So happy were they
In the garden they did play
but from that tree did they eat
The fruit of life that God had forbid.

And so the Bible story goes
Eve will suffer births blows
In pain shall she bring forth
children of Adams Birth.
Who have grown to care for Gods Green earth..
I proudly say to this very day
To all Eves Daughters....

H-A-P-P-Y- - V-A-L-E-N-T-I-N-E-S - - D-A-Y

WITH ALL MY LOVE AND BEST WISHES LADIES!
BIG DEAN

A mother took her daughter to the doctor and asked him to give her an examination to determine the cause of the daughter's swollen abdomen.

It only took the doctor about 2 seconds to say, "Gimme a break, lady! Your daughter is pregnant!"

The mother turn red with fury, and she argued with the doctor that *her* daughter was a good girl, and would *never* compromise her reputation by having sex with a boy.

The doctor faced the window and silently watched the horizon.

The mother became enraged and screamed, "Quit looking out the window! Are not you paying attention to me?"

"Yes, of course I am paying attention, ma'am. It's just that the last time this happened, a star appeared in the east, and three wise men came. I was hoping they had show up again, and help me figure out who got your daughter pregnant!"

HMM! I can see that
YOUR FRIEND
BIG DEAN

I will soon be turning 65 this year. To me it is a miracle.
I have seen in my lifetime, my wife pass, my children grow into
women, marry and grow. Now I have a extended family of
6 grandchildren and 3 great-grandchildren.
I read today's entry and I can not really say it ia a 'pure joke,
but old age seen through this Old mans Eyes.
I hope you enjoy it

Today at the drugstore, the clerk was a gent.
From my purchase this chap took off ten percent.
I asked for the cause of a lesser amount;
And he answered, "Because of the Seniors' Discount."

I went to McDonald's for a burger and fries;
And there once again, got quite a surprise.
The clerk poured some coffee which he handed to me.
He said, "For you Seniors, the coffee is free."

Understand - I'm not old - I'm merely mature;
But some things are changing, temporarily, I'm sure.
The newspaper print gets smaller each day,
And people speak softer - can't hear what they say.

My teeth are my own (I have the receipt),
And my glasses identify people I meet.
Oh, I've slowed down a bit...not a lot, I am sure.
You see, I'm not old...I'm only mature.

The gold in my hair has been bleached by the sun.
You should see all the damage that chlorine has done.
Washing my hair has turned it all white,
But don't call it gray....saying "blond" is just right.

My car is all paid for...not a nickel is owed.
Yet some kids yell, "Old duffer...get off the road!"
My car has no scratches... not even a dent,
Still I get all this stuff from a punk who's "Hell bent."

My friends all get older...much faster than me.
They seem much more wrinkled, from what I can see.
I've got "character lines" not wrinkles...for sure,
But don't call me old....just call me mature.

The steps in the houses they're building today
Are so high that they take all your breath away;
And the streets are much steeper than ten years ago.
That should explain why my walking is slow.

But I'm keeping up with what's hip and what's new,
And I think I can still dance a mean boogaloo.
I'm still in the running...in this I'm secure,
I'M NOT REALLY OLD....I'M ONLY MATURE!

YOUR FRIEND
BIG DEAN

"Doc, I can't sleep anymore," the man complained.
"I've tried everything, but I just toss and turn."

"You have to learn to relax," the doctor said.
"Try putting each part of your body to sleep separately."

That night the guy crawled into bed, got comfortable and started to talk to his body.

"Toes, go to sleep," he whispered.

"Feet, go to sleep.

Legs, go to sleep.

Hips, go to sleep.

Stomach, go to sleep"

Just then, his wife walked in wearing a transparent teddy.

Her husband opened one eye, then lifted his head from the pillow.
"OK," he shouted, "up, up...everybody up!"

That should get your Monday off to a great start thinking!
YOUR FRIEND
BIG DEAN

It was time for Father John's Saturday night bath, and the young nun, Sister Magdalene, had prepared the bath water and towels just the way the old nun had instructed.

Sister Magdalene was also instructed not to look at Father John's nakedness if she could help it, do whatever he told her to do, and pray.

The next morning the old nun asked Sister Magdalene how the Saturday night bath had gone.

"Oh, sister," said the young nun dreamily, "I've been saved."

"Saved? And how did that come about?" asked the old nun.

"Well, when Father John was soaking in the tub, he asked me to wash him, and while I was washing him he guided my hand down between his legs where he said the Lord keeps the Key to Heaven."

"Did he now?" said the old nun evenly.

Sister Magdalene continued, "And Father John said that if the Key to Heaven fit my lock, the portals of Heaven would be opened to me and I would be assured salvation and eternal peace. And then Father John guided his Key to Heaven into my lock."

"Is that a fact?" said the old nun even more evenly.

"At first it hurt terribly, but Father John said the pathway to salvation was often painful and that the glory of God would soon swell my heart with ecstasy. And it did, it felt so good being saved."

"That wicked old bastard" said the old nun. "He told me it was Gabriel's Horn ... and I've been blowing it for 40 years."

Hope you enjoyed!
YOUR FRIEND
BIG DEAN